A new adventure......

We are going on a new adventure, we have decided to homeschool our kids. It's a decision we are keeping very open minded about, especially in the light of our current illnesses.


I have been quite suprised about everyone's response to our decision. I had previously thought that we would have a lot of opposition, but the majority of people we have told are very supportive of it. I even had one friend who said that she had thought about mentioning it to us before as she thought it would suit us!



The negative or neutral feedback has come from friends who don't have kids or have a clue about education and from our parents, who's main concern is for our wellbeing, not our ability to provide a good education for our children.

If you asked us 12 months ago about homeschooling, i would have said "no way, i can't wait for the kids to got to school" But since J has started kindy, things have changed.

J loves kindy, the kindy is fantastic, they are well organised, structured and the staff are very inclusive and good at reading kids and their abilities. The problems began when he came home. After a few weeks, J began to get really surly and aggressive towards us and his sister. His attitude in the evenings was terrible and i found myself thinking, what has happened to my kind little boy, he's turning into a monster!

After the weekends, he had returned to normal, but after his first session of kindy for the week, the monster returned.
This behaviour improved a lot when he got his glasses, but by this time, we had begun to explore other options.

In the last 12 months, we have met several people who either homeschool their kids or were homeschooled. It is amazing how God prepares you for things! The main thing that stood out to us is how strong the kids faith is, and that they are very well adjusted, well educated, socialised people.

The main opposition to homeschooling these days seems to be the socialisation factor. There must have been a time where all homeschooled kids were anti-social or had poor people skills. This has certainly not been the case for the families that we know!

The main reasons for our decision are

1. Behaviour management/socialisation.
2. The ability to provide a christian based education
3. Dissastisfaction with the schools in our area.
4. The ability to work at the children's pace.

1. Behaviour management/socialisation.
We want our kids to be confident in who they are and who God created them to be. There are too many examples of kids in conventional school with really poor behaviour which they have learnt from their parents and from their peers. This might sound extreme, but we don't want our kids to be teenage parents or binge drinkers or taking on any other dangerous kinds of behaviour. I realise that homeschooling will not guarantee that this wont happen but if our children's primary relationships are with their parents instead of their peers, then they will try to impress their parents and not their peers.
We understand that we will need to be deliberate with providing extra socialisation opportunities and i don't really think that church will be enough. I think it is important for kids to socialise with all kinds of people, not just ones that are like us. THey need to learn to deal with people they don't like and conflict.

2. A christian education
This initially was not a big concern for us as we believe that our kids learn from observing us (for better or for worse!). After having looked at the christian content in the curriculum we have chosen, we can see that there will be so many more opportunities to discuss God's place as creator and ruler of this world. All subjects have a christian focus and especially science places God as the creator of all things. Something that is not taught in schools!


3. Dissatisfaction with the school in our area
I do not want to sound too negative about the schools but we have a couple of friends who are relief teachers in both the primary and secondary schools in our area. The stories that we hear from them about how hard it is to teach, particularly in the primary schools and the difficulties that students have with learning because of poor diet and distraction by other students have really affirmed our decision. The culture of some of the schools is almost a hopeless one, even the kids who want to learn are often held back because the teachers are busy dealing with the "problem" kids in the class rather than teaching. It is unfortunate that in some of the schools, the teacher spends more time managing the class that teaching it! Not all the schools are portrayed as bad, but the issues are probably still there.

4. The Ability to work at the child's pace
This was an issue for both Simon and I, who in both primary and secondary school became frustrated and bored whilst we waited for the rest of the class to catch up. In a conventional school, the pace is determined by the majority of the class. In homeschooling, because of the one to one nature, students can learn at their own pace, if they grasp a particular concept quickly, they can move on. If it takes longer, then more time is able to be spent until the idea is concrete.

All of these things, and more, are issues that can be avoided or promoted with homeschooling. THe one on one contact with our children will enable them to learn at their own pace and to pursue special interests. The school day will be shorter due to the lack of other distractions and we will have flexibility to pursue interests or work on projects that are particularly interesting to our kids. We can also provide a well balanced education including a christian perspective to subjects.

I realise it will be hard work, there will be days when the kids wont want to do what i want them too, or days when i'll want to do something else, but with God's help, i think we can succeed.

We are keeping open minded about it, if it doesn't work, they can always go to school!

The need to feed

I found myself in an interesting situation recently. I found myself really having to resist the urge to feed another baby. This has never happened to me before. I have always had in my mind that i would be happy to breastfeed another baby if the need arose, but i never thought i would have the urge to do so. I saw the baby again today and the urge wasn't there anymore, which i suppose is a good thing. I have been thinking a lot about this and have come to the conclusion that my urge to feed was not an urge to provide the baby with food but more an urge to love.

This baby was only four days old and has been placed in foster care. I am sad for the baby that he will miss out on a beautiful feeding relationship with his mother, but more than that, he will probably miss out on the chance to bond and to be loved by his mother. Whilst i have no doubt that the baby will be safer and better cared for with someone else, it is still sad that he will miss out on a loving relationship with his mother.

It is not an easy task being a foster carer and i know this even though i am not one as i have several friends who do it. It is hard for the carers, it is hard for the parents, it is hard for the kids and it is hard for those who work in positions of authority related to foster care. It must be hard to love someone elses child, especially if they have challenging behaviour and are only with you for a short period of time. Initially i felt awkward interacting with the kids in foster care, and my husband still does. But i came to the conclusion that the kids probably need as much love as possible, particularly those who have suffered abuse at the hands of their parents. Can loving them in anyway be a bad thing?

So whilst i haven't had the urge to feed someone elses baby again, i am comfortable in loving them as much as i can, in the short period of time that i have contact with them.

A debrief of the past few weeks

Life has been hectic for a few weeks which i am not quite used to. I have had a friend who has been on holidays for the last month and has been with us everyday of her holidays. It was great to have her with us and she has been such a blessing and a help to me. Having her with us has been excellent except with the extra pair of hands i have tried to do twice as much in each of my days, which has been exhausting. As well as doing twice as much during the day, we have stayed up later talking and catching up. I have loved having her with us but during the last week, i was longing for my life back so i could go to bed early and stay home some more. I realised how much i enjoyed my routines and the controlled environment at home (well, not really controlled but all within my control).

On top of this, i have become involved in the youth group here in Pt Augusta. This has been excellent but i have not had my 9.30 bedtime on Friday nights! We have been renovating the youth room which has involved lots of physical work, even more so with my kids helping us.

Throughout all my busy period, I have had a longing to get home and just be at home with my kids. Aswell as being so much easier to manage the kids at home, routines are so important. Interupted sleep times, meal times and not as much attention from mum as i've been to busy with other projects has had a toll on my kids (and on me). I am reaffirmed in my role as a stay at home mum, and even though i was not leaving my kids at home whilst i was going to work, i was still leaving the home and my kids security wth me.

I was listening to focus on the family on vision fm yesterday and one of the guest speakers was a woman with 7 kids and she homeschooled them. She was quite inspirational, but one of the things she said and i agree wholeheartedly with is that with having your kids at home, you can have the most influence on them. We as parents have a responsibility to our kids to instruct them in the ways of the Lord and to teach them how to live their lives.

Homeschooling is something that i have been thinking about for a while, and even though it is still a while away, i think it deserves some consideration now. I have never ever thought that i would homeschool my kids, and i have not made a decision either way, but i have been thinking and challenged a lot on it this year. I can probably say now that i am willing to consider it as an option now, whereas before, i just thought those who homeschooled their kids were extreme and over protective. We'll see what God has in store.

Church membership

For the good part of this year, i have been thinking of becoming a member of the church. Not just an attender but a proper official member. I hadn't thought it through very hard until this weekend but i have thought about it maybe a dozen times this year. I am unsure as to why i wanted to do this but i am settled here at my church in Pt Augusta so it seemed like the right thing to do. The subject of confirmation came up at a bible study i attend and it was then that i discovered that in the uniting church that is the same as church membership.
I asked the question, what is the point of being confirmed or becoming a church member as it seemed to me that it should be a fairly obsolete thing. Well, i opened a whole can of worms as far as my bible study group was concerned (It consists of the minister and the church council chairperson). Apart from being able to be on church council and vote on church council matters, there doesn't seem to be any other benefits apart from the pride of being a member of the uniting church.

I asked the minister if i could join his confirmation classes the following week after discussing it with Simon and he was very, very pleased to have me involved. I have since been given some reading material and have talked about it with a few different people.
I am not one to commit to anything if it is not absolutely necessary but perhaps i thought that maybe this was something i could change about myself.

Our congregation is a member of the Assembly of Confessing congregations (ACC) which as far as i can tell is a group that split from the main body of the uniting church when the church decided to ordain homosexual people as ministers. Now personally i believe that the bible is the absolute truth and we should use it as a guide for living our lives and i also agree with the views of the ACC
BUT... i do not agree with the promotion of the ACC and all the time and effort that has gone into establishing it and building it up to become a separate body. I don't have exclusive allegiance to the uniting church either, it just happens to be the church that we are part of at this stage in our lives.
All the energy and time that has been invested into dividing the church once again, this idea of we are right and you are wrong seems to miss the point clearly. Who are we as people to think of ourselves greater than anyone else just because we think we are right about a particular issue. Shouldn't we be investing this time and energy into loving others, the hurt and lonely and poor, feeding them, clothing them, showing them who JESUS really is, not who the church is.
I think a major problem with the church today is that it is trying so hard to get back its reputation and fill pews that it has lost the big picture. It is more about getting bums on seats and money in the offering plate than loving those who need it most. (I know this is not the exclusive objective of the church but often it seems like it)
Now i know that i suck at doing these things and because i was raised in the church and am surrounded by church people, i have a tendency to get caught up in this way of thinking but i am trying to be more like Jesus, i am trying to make a difference or at least wanting to.

My Dad warned me about getting involved in church politics, he's been there done that. I don't know what his opinion on all this is but he just said "Don't get involved unless it's absolutely necessary" This has caused me to reconsider whether to become a church member or not, but on the other hand there is this niggling going on saying do it, you might need it for what is planned for you in the future.

Cloth nappy mayhem (not quite)

Well, i am starting my own cloth nappy business, something i have been thinking about for over a year now. Things seem to be going ahead quite nicely. I have been in the setting up phase for about 3 months and finally am going to just go ahead, register my business name and get started. Many people seem very keen to see my nappies and are very interested in modern cloth nappies. I put some of my samples in an album on facebook just to show my friends who were interested to see some of the fabrics that i had been using. I never in my life expected that it would work as a kind of advertisement. I have had several messages about people being interested and possible wanting to order some. This has thrown me a bit but in a good way as now i have no excuses but to get on and do it. I have been making them for myself and some friends for over 12 months and i really enjoy doing it. I'm not at this stage doing it as an income for myself but rather i thought that i love to make them and people seem to want to buy them, so why not make a little money out of a hobby. The market is very competitive though, only today have i really looked into how much people charge for similar products and how much it costs me to make them.
There seems to be a cloth nappy revolution taking place and there is a lot of interest in them, and why not. Apart from the small task of washing them, there are far more benefits for using cloth than disposables. Firstly there is the landfill that is saved, I am still amazed to this day about how many nappies (particularly newborns) use in a week. Secondly, disposable nappies are so expensive, even the cheap ones are expensive. A Reusable cloth nappy system has saved us thousands of dollars, especially since we set them up to be unisex so as to suit any child we might have in the future. I cannot understand how anyone can afford to use all disposable nappies. Thirdly the benefits to the environment and to the babies skin. Josiah has never had a nappy rash, and Anna only occasionally since using cloth nappies. Arguments against cloth nappies say that they use a lot of water in washing but in reality, just as much water is used in the manufacturing of a disposable as is used in the washing of a cloth nappy. The washing would be worse if you weren't using nappies at all!
SO i am a bit inspired by the amount of interest in my nappies, it is always a risk doing something like this, what if no one is interested, what if no one wants to buy any, what if, what if, what if...... I think this will be a good thing, and in reality, i don't really mind if people don't buy my nappies, as long as they think about using cloth.

The first of many

So, i have finally given in to the blog community, not that i have had any pressure though. I enjoy reading other peoples blogs and thought perhaps i might sort some things out in my head if i wrote them down. We've had a rough week this week with a funeral of a 15yr old and an assortment of other insignificant things going wrong. They all compound with lack of sleep and short tempers to make our household not as pleasant as it usually is. This week i have spent a lot of time on facebook and noticing that everyone else in the world seems to be happy and having a party, is it just me who stays at home all day cleaning bums and clothes. This week i feel as though the world is going on around and i am just at home making sure we are all fed and cleaned. I realise that this is an important job, and that raising my children is the most important job anyone can have but sometimes i feel perhaps that the world wont really miss us if we disappeared for a while. I am torn between "who cares if spend the whole day in an apron, looking like i'm from the 1950's" because it saves me from washing my clothes all the time and "i want a pretty dress and an occasion to go out too". I suppose it is all part of the challenges that i face being a mother and sacrifices that are made for the benefit of our children. So my outlook this week is changing, chin up, stop whinging about what i could be doing and start concentrating on what i am and should be doing! God has put me in this position for a reason and who am i to argue that i should be socialising and having a good time if it is His will for me to be the most important person in 3 peoples lives.