Thursday, March 11, 2010

The need to feed

I found myself in an interesting situation recently. I found myself really having to resist the urge to feed another baby. This has never happened to me before. I have always had in my mind that i would be happy to breastfeed another baby if the need arose, but i never thought i would have the urge to do so. I saw the baby again today and the urge wasn't there anymore, which i suppose is a good thing. I have been thinking a lot about this and have come to the conclusion that my urge to feed was not an urge to provide the baby with food but more an urge to love.

This baby was only four days old and has been placed in foster care. I am sad for the baby that he will miss out on a beautiful feeding relationship with his mother, but more than that, he will probably miss out on the chance to bond and to be loved by his mother. Whilst i have no doubt that the baby will be safer and better cared for with someone else, it is still sad that he will miss out on a loving relationship with his mother.

It is not an easy task being a foster carer and i know this even though i am not one as i have several friends who do it. It is hard for the carers, it is hard for the parents, it is hard for the kids and it is hard for those who work in positions of authority related to foster care. It must be hard to love someone elses child, especially if they have challenging behaviour and are only with you for a short period of time. Initially i felt awkward interacting with the kids in foster care, and my husband still does. But i came to the conclusion that the kids probably need as much love as possible, particularly those who have suffered abuse at the hands of their parents. Can loving them in anyway be a bad thing?

So whilst i haven't had the urge to feed someone elses baby again, i am comfortable in loving them as much as i can, in the short period of time that i have contact with them.

1 comment:

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